You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
