pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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