Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
