I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
