I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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