we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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