Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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