mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
