Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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