i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
