I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
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i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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