I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Someone signed my nipple.
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