I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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