she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
