better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
jump out the window naked night went bad
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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