dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
