Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
