Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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