Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
