I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
