rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
