whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I need water and some morals
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
