Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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