WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize