u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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