He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
