They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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