I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
