Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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