You're so nebulous sometimes
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
