Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
