How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
