just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
