dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
