so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize