I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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