guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
