So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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