We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Let's get the cat blown out
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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