yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
