maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
