literally had 100 drinks last night.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
