You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize