yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
