so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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