I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
