Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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