I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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