wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
