I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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