none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
