Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
