he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
