how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
