No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
