her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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