Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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