hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
