You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
