Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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