so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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