I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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