I have demons in me.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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