my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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