You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
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He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
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Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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